Fix Me Jesus, Fix Me

One of my favorite treats during the holiday season is Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater’s program Revelations, an exploration of the “places of deepest grief and holiest joy in the soul.”  Always a crowd pleaser, Revelations ends with the rousing spiritual Rocka My Soul and a mini encore by the whole company. But my favorite segment in Revelations is the quiet, soul-searing Fix Me Jesus, a feat of balance and grace in which two dancers speak for all of us who have ever been hurt by anyone or anything; a mobile prayer.

For so many women in my network, in my age group, on the cusp of our golden years life is simply full of regret.  At a recent gathering, one of my acquaintances cornered me, chronicling her many missteps, her body heaving with sorrow as she expelled each and every error. While I did my best to stay present, I too, was silently inventorying my own bad decisions and wrong turns, wondering how the many goals so casually, effortlessly developed in the arrogance of youth had just slipped away.  It’s not supposed to be like this. 

I anxiously scanned the room, estimating that on a good day one third of the women in my network, with more years behind them than ahead, are content, even less are happy.

I wish everyone in my circle could channel the humility of the Ailey dancers, supplicating ourselves to a merciful God, beckoning Her to undo the damage and restore us to the best version of ourselves, or at least render us recognizable.

For the husband never married

Fix me Jesus

For the family dissolved by divorce

Fix me

For the children never had

Fix me Jesus

For children twisted with greed

Fix me

For the home never bought

Fix me Jesus

For the house hobbled by disrepair

Fix me 

For the dreams never realized

Fix me Jesus

For the dreams never dreamed

Fix me 

Fix me Jesus

Fix me 

Fix me Jesus

Fix me 

To see Fix Me Jesus on You Tube, please visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CXk1mQVCgI

Alvin Ailey Dance Theater will perform at the New York City Center from December 4, 2013 through January 5, 2014:

http://www.alvinailey.org/about/2013-new-york-city-center-season/new-york-season-2013/2013-new-york-city-center-season

Get your tickets now, Affirming Community.  It’ll be an evening you won’t forget.