In his address to Congress yesterday, Britain’s King Charles spoke of the “interlinked destinies” of his nation and the United States. Embraced by Congressional members desperate to hear a thinking, disciplined quasi leader, the king said, “We meet in times of great uncertainty”—the understatement of the year.
On a mission not wholly supported by his people to pacify our dangerous toddler president, the king upheld the righteousness of Ukraine and its ongoing need for the support of the allies, and for attention to the environment.
“America’s words carry weight and meaning and since independence the actions of this great nation mean even more,” the king said, pointedly. I must admit it was a well-crafted speech: careful, complimentary, even humorous. But the king, his mother’s also-ran for decades, has long been in training for times such as these.
Born as the heir apparent to the British throne, King Charles’s international profile was further heightened when as a 33-year-old prince he married the 20-year-old Diana Spencer in 1981. The young princess became one of the two most famous people in the world, along with Muhammed Ali. Diana, dubbed the People’s Princess, remained the world’s darling for almost 16 years until her death in 1997—but not to her husband, who carried on an affair with his former paramour, Camilla Parker Bowles, throughout his marriage and part of hers.
Trump, famous for self-promotion and poor financial management, in 1993 married his mistress, Marla Maples, leaving his three children with their mother, his first wife, Ivanka. He then went on to marry Melania Knauss, a sometime model with a sketchy background, and to allegedly cheat on her with porn star Stormy Daniels while his current wife was at home nursing their son. In a phrase cribbed from Chris Rock’s freshman performance in the film New Jack City, the source of multiple memes, Crackhead go with Crackhead.
Before he addressed Congress, King Charles and Queen Camilla were treated to an inspection of the troops outdoors, as tiny drops of rain came down on the cancer survivor and the construction team that is demolishing the People’s House continued to work, cranes flapping in the wind in plain sight during the ceremony. Rubbish people hire rubbish people. In typical Donald form the head of protocol is probably a weekend anchor from Newsmax. Or maybe a hospitality worker from one of the Trump golf clubs.
What is the meaning of this visit by the English monarch? What is the role of the seemingly composed king, who allegedly let both his former and now current wife fight over him as he sauntered away, and more recently denied that he knew that his brother and his mother’s favorite child, the former Prince Andrew, would be picked up by police last February? Can Charles tame the beast that is the president of the United States? Will he be able to bring Donald back into the NATO fold? Stop the incoherent war in Iran that is destroying the global economy? Make baby president read his daily briefings?
Good luck bloke. With just a day into Charles’s state visit Donald is already recycling his greatest hits: referring to himself as king, building his gaudy $400 million ballroom, now with proposed taxpayer dollars, trying to jail James Comey and fire Jimmy Kimmel, and proposing to plaster his orange face on our passports. We are in serious crazy town.
As a layperson, the visit from the British king to celebrate a country trying to fling itself back from the 2020s to the 1950s when people of color didn’t have civil rights and America was an unabashed imperialist power, is an extraordinary waste of taxpayer money.
Last night there was a lavish state dinner, the fallen empire hosted by the falling empire. Charles had on his arm his mistress-turned-wife-turned-queen. And Donald had on his arm his sometimes-nude model turned the least-educated first lady since the 1970s, one who has done nothing to soothe the nation’s racing heart.
But Crackhead go with Crackhead. Mazel tov.
